


The Bulb Cares for No One

by Koscy



Series: Chaos in the Cathedral [1]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Apparently I process grief through retelling the entire battle, Campaign: A Crown of Candy, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gen, Major spoilers for Episode 6, POV Lapin Cadbury (third person), Sad, This is a retelling of Episode 6, dialogue is verbatim from the episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24185191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koscy/pseuds/Koscy
Summary: The battle from Episode 6, Chaos in the Cathedral, from Lapin's POV
Series: Chaos in the Cathedral [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745749
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	The Bulb Cares for No One

Chancellor Lapin looks at the Holy Book of Leaves, the relic of Saint Citrina, and begins to peer into the magic of the Bulb and the Bulb itself. As he does that though, the world around him changes through one sentence. In one sentence the Pontifex excommunicates King Amethar, denounces him as an oathbreaker and adulterer, calls the princesses bastards, declares that Candia is now a rebel nation under Duke Jawbreaker, and calls for the Candians present to be arrested. Before Lapin is able to process any of that, Princess Jet runs up to the Pontifex yelling, "I'd rather be a bastard than a fool who believes in a bulb. If it's a fucking war you want it's a fucking war you got."

Sir Theobald guards the princess against Sir Bonathan and declares, "Fuck the Bulb!" While everything turns to chaos, Lapin turns to Basha Myaso and tries what he's best at, "Wow, you're going to let the King Amethar take all the glory of fighting the Bulb? The Meatlands with surely hear about this, how your cowardice kept you from fighting."

"I think you'll notice that I am a proud Bulbian. This has nothing to do with the Meatlands," Basha replies. Lapin can't fault him for his prudence. He knew convincing the Warlord to openly rebel against the Church was a long shot, but he had to try. He takes one last look at the book and realizes that the Bulb gives power the same way the Sugarplum Fairy does, as a patron making a deal. Him being a warlock and the Pontifex being a cleric are really the same thing, using the same magic. He must put that thought aside for now though; there are people to protect. 

He knows he is made, knows that now is the time to be bold as the Sugarplum Fairy said. Without concealing the arcane sweetness, he casts Fly on Theobald, knowing he will be able to carry Ruby and Liam up to the balcony where Amethar threw Jet. Then he sends his healing energy to Liam and stands between him and Sir Keradin, who had emerged from the shadows and nearly killed the boy in just two swings.

"I misjudged you, Chancellor," Sir Theobald says, and Lapin can hear the emotions in his voice but can't say much in the middle of this chaos, so he just says, "Oh shut up," and holds onto the sound of Theo's soft laughter as he stares down the carrot paladin and says, "I thought I kicked your ass earlier."

Theo flies the children up to the balcony, shouting, "Long live the Sweetening Path" as he flips off the entire church. Lapin cannot think about how awesome that was because he needs to focus on getting himself up to them. He is about to cast Thunder Step, but Sir Keradin is faster, "False prophet, how could you betray the Bulb?". Lapin spits in his face as the mace comes down and in three swings the Chancellor is brought down, fading into unconsciousness. In this haze, Lapin suddenly realizes the truth of the Bulb, the truth he has been searching for all these years. The Bulb is mindless. It does not possess any intellect, intelligence, sapience, or awareness. It merely is, and the people capable of accessing it may access it for whatever ends they wish.

He prays for the Sugarplum Fairy to save him, even though he knows it's futile, even though he still hates her. Then he feels a cold pressure across his chest and smells peppermint in the air. Peppermint Preston curls up against him for comfort and support in his last moments. Before he has a moment to be grateful or wonder if Liam and the others got away, he feels Sir Keradin's mace again, but this time the attacks hit Preston instead of him. Lapin feels the life begin to leave the small pig but cannot heal him. He is barely hanging on as it is. He was supposed to do a third thing for the Sugarplum Fairy, she had another wish, but now he will never be able to fulfill it.

Through the blood in his eyes and haze of eminent death, Lapin sees the Pontifex standing before him with her lips curled in disgust. "Heretic, apostate, Warlock of the Sugarplum Fairy, you mock that which is bright and shining," she says, her words barely louder than a whisper but full of anger, "Do you have any last words?" At that moment, Lapin wonders if the Pontifex knows the truth of the Bulb that he now knows, but as she speaks he realizes she probably doesn't, and even if she did, she wouldn't care. She gets power from the Bulb and that's all she cares about. The Pontifex asks again, "Any last words?"

Lapin can't help but to chuckle weakly to himself, and says as loudly as he can for all to hear, "The Bulb cares for no one!"

With that the Pontifex says to the paladin, "End it."

Right before the blow that will surely kill him, Lapin hears the voice of the Sugarplum Fairy in his ear whisper, "They wouldn't have survived this without you. My third wish is for you to come home." Lapin surrenders himself to her power and does not feel the killing blow on his body. He is surrounded by sweetness, love, and eternal rest. The King, two princesses, ranger, and knight are safe, at least for now. He did his part. He is home.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this really helped me process episode 6, so I hope reading this helped at least some of you process it as well. I have Theo's POV of the battle written too, but not sure if anyone would want to read it. If you like reading the battle through different characters' POVs and want to see more of it, please LET ME KNOW! Comments are always welcomed.


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